Despite it’s title, or maybe because of it, Nude for Satan was a bit disappointing. Sure it delivered a little Lucifer and a lot of nudity, but it most definitely failed to entertain. “How could this be?” you may be wondering, or “what did you expect with a title like that?” you could be asking and the truth may answer both questions. This was an impulse buy.
Now sometimes impulse buys yield hidden treasure that you only find by being adventurous. In the case of Phantasm, an entire franchise of interesting films expanded my world of movies. However adventurous your spirit, you also have to accept that many of your impulse buys will turn out to be your worst fear; a waste of money.
Now, the cover of the box promises, “a previously lost sleaze masterpiece chock-a-block with lesbianism, whippings, black magic and dubious dubbing.” Well they’re right about everything (doubly so on the dubbing) but it’s up for debate whether this qualifies as a masterpiece in anyone’s book or whether or not we’re better off having it stay lost. Sure the ideas and themes are nice, (I think most of us welcome a little lesbianism into our films), but the movie is not the psychologically taunt exploration into the darkness of the human soul that it pretends to be. Neither is it the gratuitously kinky and inexcusable romp of exploitation that it sells it self as. Instead we have an dis-engaging Italian horror flick that never rises to to the level of horrific or exciting. Two people wandering around a mansion and taking their clothes off while being seduced psychologically by a creepy old guy we’re supposed to think is Satan, loses it’s appeal surprisingly fast. And that is the plot too! After getting into a car accident, both survivors make their way to a big house where the Devil tries to seduce them and confront their darker selves.
So that’s a fail in eroticism, horror, direction, acting, and even the special effects were highly questionable; a spider that looks more like a moldy baked potato with pipe cleaners for legs isn’t my idea of scary (even if the chick it’s on screams for several minutes)!
You have been warned.